


Barely Breathing

by porcupinegoldstein



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: 2am talks, Abusive Relationships, Alcohol, Bruises, Dream Sequence, Drink Use, Drug Use, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Leta is kind of there, Manipualtive Realtionship, Manipulative Leta, Mental Health Issues, Newt having a nightmare, Nightmare, Sad Newt, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 20:43:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11471337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/porcupinegoldstein/pseuds/porcupinegoldstein
Summary: Newt has a nightmare of a memory that he didn't want to relive. Tina is there to help him and talk to him, to try and make him okay again.





	Barely Breathing

**Author's Note:**

> PSA: THIS WAS WRITTEN LONG BEFORE WE KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT LETA. MY IMAGE OF HER IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOW.
> 
>  
> 
> So, this has been swimming around in my head for a bit. I just picture Leta like this, it may just be me but, luckily Tina is on hand to help Newt out.

_He had planned and prepared a meal. Just like he had done every Wednesday. They didn’t live together per say, he just stayed at hers a lot of the time. His place had a strange aroma apparently. Which Newt didn’t particularly mind, he had always been in the frame of mind that as long as Leta was happy then he would be happy as well._

_He presented her with a plate of lightly fried fish, with some chopped cheesy potatoes and a glass of wine. She had already had a few glasses already. Which was worrying. Leta had been drinking a lot lately, and told him that it was the pressures of what her parents had expected from her._

_Even after Newt had been expelled at sixteen, him and Leta kept in contact and kept dating, now at 22 he hoped that they were as close as ever. She never came to visit him at his house. He knew that Theseus wasn’t too much of a fan of the girl, which he was disappointed in but, he wouldn’t make any comments on it._

_“Newt. What do you think you call this?” She looked up towards the plate of food in some manner of disgust before looking back up towards her boyfriend again and rose an eyebrow. “How do you expect me to eat this?”_

_“I thought that we could try it for a change. You’ve eaten fish before,” Newt answered warily and bit his lip slightly._

_“Well it’s unacceptable. You should have known what I wanted instead!” she snapped and stood up, the drink going slightly to her head and a flash of fire in her eyes that Newt had seen before. It happened a lot when she had been drinking._

_“Leta, I can make you something else if you don’t want this. It’s no trouble,” he assured her, wanting her to be happy. It was the one flaw that Newt had. He always put others before himself, and had no idea just how straining the relationship was for him. He thought that he was happy because she was happy. Thought that was how things went._

_“Forget it! You never listen to me,” she snapped at him and when he moved forward to try and comfort him, she pushed him away into the counter. “There’s no point Newt!”_

_This did happen a lot, and Newt worried for her own health and mental well-being. He took a tentative step closer, his back slightly sore from the collision with the kitchen counter._

_“Leta, please. I think that we need to get you some help, we can see a healer or something and they may be able to do something.”_

_“You’re calling me crazy now is that it?” she all but screamed at him, and the glass in her hand smashed, wine going everywhere. Including down her new dress. “Fucking Hell Newt! Look what you made me do!”_

_“Leta, I can buy you a new dress. Please, just let me help you,” he moved forward again towards her but was met with a the broken glass in her hand to his body, just below the ribs. It was hard enough to break the skin, and he looked towards the wound as blood stained his shirt._

_His heart hammered against his chest, as he looked up towards his girlfriend, a scared look in his eyes. Things like this had happened before, when she had gotten angry with him and hurt him and he only blamed himself._

_“Just leave me alone Newt! Go home!” she yelled at him and pushed him away again, trying to get him out of the door. When he didn’t move quick enough, the woman picked up the wine bottle from the side and threw it at him, which made Newt quickly apparate out of there, scared for his own safety and for her own mental state._

* * *

 

Newt awoke with a start, images of the nightmarish memory burning in his brain. Judging by the darkness of the room and no light coming from the window, he had to assume that it was still night time.

The Magizoolgist had been staying with the Goldstein’s for a couple of days now, and for some nights he had dreamless sleeps. That was how he liked things. When he was plagued with nightmares from his past, he could never get back to sleep again.

He didn’t know when his insomnia had first appeared, he just knew that whenever he had a nightmare, he would never get back to sleep and even be awake for the next night as well. He got hardly any sleep as it was, with the early starts when he had to look after his creatures.

Putting his head in his hands and then running his hands through his curls, he swung his legs over the spare bed that the sisters had provided for him and got up. If he was awake he may as well do something with his time. He breathed in deeply, and caught the faint smell of the smoke and weed that lingered on him. He wasn’t sure if anyone had found out but, once Tina and Queenie had gone to bed, Newt had retreated to the roof where he smoked a little and gotten high. Maybe that’s what had given him the nightmare but, still he couldn’t seem to find the will to give it up.

He sighed and walked out, forgetting that he was shirtless and that his scars were visible. The scars that painted his body along with freckles. Some scars were from creatures, others from Leta. That wasn’t even mentioning the more mental scars that she had left him with.

He thought that he would be alone when he went out into the living room area, but was surprised to see Tina sitting on the sofa with her head in a book and a cup of coffee in her hand. She was still wearing her pyjamas and Newt almost turned around to head back into the bedroom before her voice got his attention.

“Newt? What are you doing up?” she asked out of concern, tilting her head slightly to the left as she took him in.

“I could ask you the same question Miss Goldstein. What time is it?” Newt asked her and kept his eyes on the bedroom door. He had to bite down on his tongue so that he wouldn’t say anything more.

“2AM,” Tina mentioned and frowned slightly. She could tell that something was wrong with him. “I’m only up because I’ve got work in two hours. I’m on the early shift and I thought I’d get some reading done before I left. Are you okay?”

That was a question that Newt wasn’t even sure how to answer. He let his hand linger over the doorknob slightly before giving in. If he had to open up to someone for once in his life, he might as well let Tina be that person. He cared about her after all. It was just after everything that Leta had done, he didn’t want to progress their relationship any further. Afraid that she would leave him. That she would get bored of him.

People hurt Newt. So many people had hurt him. He had been bullied at Hogwarts. Leta had lied to him, manipulated him and physically hurt him. His creatures had almost been killed because of what people viewed them as.

“I could be doing better,” Newt answered truthfully and turned slightly to face her. He came over slowly and sat down, not caring much that he was shirtless in front of her. In front of someone that he cared about. Someone that he cared about more than he ever had done for a human before.

When Tina didn’t speak, and just watched him, Newt knew that he was going to have to expand on some things. He was going to have to tell Tina everything. Which he had no problem with. He wanted Tina to know. He wanted to open up to her.

“I had a nightmare. It was more of a memory but, a bad memory,” he confessed and found his hand moving up towards his scar that was left because of Leta. He told her the memory and, couldn’t even find the strength to look at her, he kept his gaze downwards.

Tina listened carefully and watched him closely. She had no idea that any of this had happened. She knew that Newt had been in a relationship with this Leta girl, but that’s all she knew. Queenie had told her before that Newt was kind of delicate because of his past but, didn’t go into the full story. She had told Tina that it’s best to wait for Newt to confess for himself.

“I have trouble sleeping because I’m terrified that whenever I close my eyes that another memory is going to come back to haunt me. I’m scared that she’ll come back and hurt me. It’s on my brain all the time. I have that picture in my case as a reminder,” he spoke with a shaky breath and Tina had only seen him this upset once. That was when his creatures had been taken from him.

“I hate the person that I am. She did these things to me because of what I’ve done,” he spoke with a sadness in his voice.

“Newt. That isn’t true. This is not your fault. You’re the victim, she was the one who hurt you and she shouldn’t have done. You’re kind, caring and passionate. You care so much about your creatures and that’s what I admire about you,” Tina tried to reassure him, a hand coming to rest on his shoulder as a sign of comfort, which he at first flinched away from before relaxing into it.

“I stay with my creatures so much because I know that they won’t hurt me. They aren’t like people. They’re a company I can keep without being truly alone,” he confessed and let some tears fall onto the floor. “Sometimes I think that it is better to be alone. If you’re alone then nobody can hurt you. I never did well with people. I annoy them.”

“Newt, that isn’t true. You don’t annoy me,” Tina mentioned, hoping that this would make him feel better.

“I will eventually. I always do. I find someone that I think will finally be my friend and then I end up pushing them away,” he spoke in disbelief of her words. He didn’t want to push Tina away. That was the last thing that he wanted, but his head was telling him that he was going to do that eventually. That Tina would leave him. That he would annoy her so much, that she would give up on him and just ask him to not visit again.

“I don’t believe that. I don’t let a lot of people in and you’re different. You’re someone that I care about Newt.”

He gave a slight smile at that and didn’t argue further. Maybe Tina was right, maybe he was something special to her and maybe there was a chance that she was going to be someone that changed him.

“Newt, I know how it feels to not feel good enough. I don’t want to make this about me so, all I will say is that you are a wonderful human being, and I know what Leta did to you is going to have an effect on you. It’s bound to. You two were close and she hurt you. I’m sorry that she hurt you, and she doesn’t know how amazing you are. If she hurt you then she isn’t worth it. You might be holding onto these old wounds which is understandable but, they are going to heal over in time. I want to help with that as well,” she offered him a small smile which he returned.

“Thank you Tina,” he whispered and pulled her into a hug. He held on tightly for what seemed like five minutes before pulling back, and finally smiling.

“Newt… Not to kill the mood or anything but, why do you smell of drugs?” Tina raised an eyebrow slightly and Newt had almost forgotten to mention that.

“Last night when you and Queenie went to bed, I went up to the roof and well, it kind of eases the pain a little,” he confessed. “I started smoking it when I got expelled from Hogwarts, and I’ve not been able to give it up.”

“Would you like me to help you with that as well?” Tina asked him with an eyebrow raise and Newt nodded slowly. He did want to give up and try to feel better in his mentality. Wanted to make Tina happy.

“Okay. Well, once I come back home from work, I will help you,” she smiled and placed a lingering kiss to his cheek. “Thank you for opening up to me Newt. That was really brave of you to do, and I admire you for it.”

Newt just nodded and watched as Tina got up and retreated to her own bedroom to get ready for work. Maybe, just maybe Newt would be able to progress with Tina. Maybe she would be the one that saved him without her even knowing.

For the first time in a while, Newt saw some hope and it was all because of Tina Goldstein.

**Author's Note:**

> So, let me know what you guys think? Comments would be much appreciated!


End file.
